Over Rated!

It’s great to be back here again. October definitely has been October and God hasn’t changed. And hey, a lot of good stuffs have happened and I’m still counting; a cute little niece added to the family tree, an all-expense paid trip to Ghana (which i'm still considering) , a promotion, and three weddings! An old friend married someone who turned out to be my long lost inner caucus friend in Primary School and two cousins suddenly decided to ‘hook’ their men and drastically deplete my family funds within two weeks. Thanks to them, whilst they're honeymooning away somewhere, we all now have to re-tailor our coats to our sizes for the rest of the year, though I suspect from the way things are going, that a couple more will further deplete our family funds soon. What getting married would do.

Well, it may be fun to have a fairy tale wedding but I find it a little irky that while I’m thinking of managing the resources I have in the face of the current economic trend, some people are conniving to frustrate my efforts in the name of “they’re getting married” and as such, I have to do their aso-ebi. Personally, I think I already have more than I require traditional attires in my wardrobe and I’m not thinking of acquiring any more in the nearest future. Bikonu.

Seriously, it’s not like aso-ebi is even a great way to build your wardrobe; you almost bleed your pockets to buy the damn things which you almost never get to enjoy anyway because it is such a general uniform that you don’t want to get caught in, on another special occasion.

Straight to the point, aso ebi is over-rated, and I mean every letter of that. We are attaching too much importance to it and losing sight of the real meaning of rejoicing with others, particularly on their weddings. The way it seems now, if you don’t buy someone’s aso ebi, it is taken to mean that you’ve either got a grudge or that you disapprove of the union.

I disagree. There are many reasons why one may not buy the uniform; for instance, if I already have an outfit that matches the colour code(s) for the event, and I don’t need another, why buy the aso ebi? Frankly, if the only way to show that you’re rejoicing with others is buying their uniforms, then we’ve got many enemies pretending to care!

Cost may be another tenable reason. And I’m going share my experience with an old friend who just got married. We had been friends in the first few years of our University days but somehow, our friendship waned just before graduation and for a long while, we lost contact until about a year ago when we bumped into each other at an Alumni dinner. We got together again but you know, it just wasn’t the same. Several attempts later, we both sort of gave up on keeping it locked and just drifted apart. Not even a facebook poke or a messenger hi surfaced for close to eleven months until one Sunday night, when her sms woke me up at 1 a.m.

No, there weren’t robbers on my street, my roof wasn’t on fire, someone wasn’t drowning or dripping wet at my door, and the heavens certainly weren’t falling; she was getting married in 2 weeks and I am to pick up her aso-ebi from her cousin who works three streets away from mine. No questions asked. I could excuse the flawed approach on the excitement of getting married at last. You know, sometimes when we’re excited, we act stupid. Okay maybe not all of us but most of us do.

Anyways, whilst it’s normal to expect people to rejoice with us when we’ve got a reason to, it’s ridiculous how we’ve sort of bought into the idea that people must bend backwards for us at such times. If we expect a traffic warden to look the other way when the plate numbers of an offending car reads “About to Wed”, how come we do not expect him to look the other way too when it’s obvious the guy driving the car in front of us on a Monday morning is very late for work? I mean, what’s this thing about getting married?

Seriously, why do we expect people to automatically subscribe to ‘uniforms’ for a ceremony they most likely will be going out of their way to attend? It is enough to expect attendance, and a gift probably but why the seeming compulsion with aso-ebi? Well, it’s not like they’re so costly right? Guess how much this one was going for; “only N27,500.00”. Tori oloun, are they made out of George Clooney? I’m also wondering here if they come with a kidney. I mean why would anyone buy a one-day-uniform-outfit that cost as much as health insurance? I may sound financially resistant, but between you and I, I honestly think it’s sheer waste to spend so much on a one-day outfit. Sometimes, “a dress is just a dress” I understand but it could also be a bomb. How about this; In Nigeria, 1 million children under 5 died of starvation last year. 25,000 people die of starvation every day, out of which 15,000 children die of poverty-related issues. What’s more, naija banks are recalling their loans, companies are shrinking and people are losing their jobs. If you haven’t noticed, you may do well to check the morning papers. The situation is really critical.

It is one thing if the celebrant needs the ‘revenue’ to augment her budget but totally another to begin to use aso-ebi to conveniently rip people off. I mean it will be noble if she humbly solicits financial support from her friends and family if she must have a fairy tale wedding; after all we rise to each other’s help once in a while. What are friends for?

Sincerely.