Hang on there!

Hi all, what you’re about to read was inspired by the experience of a dear friend at work and some lessons I've picked up from God's house.

About half the staff population had gathered for lunch at our freshly built cafeteria that afternoon, and I was relishing my plate of Ofada rice when she showed up by my side with a sullen “hello sis”. For a second, I thought she was going to play one of her tricks on me and get away with my glass of smoothie as usual, but no. She rather pulled a chair and after a momentary pause, willingly and quietly began to discuss a decision she was about to take.

She’d been married six years and had three adorable children with a man that everyone thought was her ‘Mr. right’ but who according to her, was fast becoming a stranger. As far as she could remember, the problem started at the end of their second year together as a couple, precisely after the birth of her first son. Initially, she blamed it on the baby – perhaps his constant demand for attention makes her darling husband feel abandoned. But then, the same man had encouraged the second and third birth in quick successions!

On the face of it, they looked the perfect couple; his six-digit salaried job was on course, and everyone was healthy and seemingly happy. Of course, everyone but herself. Deep down, she knew something was wrong; they were slowly drifting apart. A private investigation had suggested that it was another woman. She’d done everything she knew how to do yet the distance between them was increasingly widening. And as hard as she’d tried; she had not been able to trace the root cause. And so finally, she was thinking that she‘d endured as much as she possibly could, and was considering divorce. In her words, “I’m still young and could remarry. Instead of remaining and having an affair, I’ll go with an admirer who can’t wait to have me under his roof”

That afternoon, I could only mutter a few Father-have-mercy-kind of prayers as I beheld this young lady in her early thirties about to throw in the towel on her marriage. But God had her planned. And He wasn’t going to let her fall.

As we stepped out of the cafeteria, her phone buzzed and lo, it was her ‘lord’ as I prefer to call him. To cut the story short, they’re both in South Africa ‘retreating’ their marriage back into shape. And guess what…….all that time she was worried sick that he was ‘having an affair’, he was only over-busying himself dealing with a terrible situation at the office, and pondering relocating. Her emails today share exciting experiences and I’m certain they’ll stay happy for a long time.

Perhaps you’re like my friend. You can feel it. Like a bunch of banana slowly shrinking and turning black. You know it is happening or is going to happen soon but you really don’t have a firm grip on it. You cannot even place your finger on it. Yet you know it…..that your career, your marriage or your relationship is slowly drifting towards the rocks. And you despair…..not because you are afraid of loosing it but because you have searched yourself for where you went wrong and found nothing, you have worked hard to control the situation but nothing seems to be working, you want to save the situation but the only solution staring you in the face is quitting. And like Danny Devito once said; your skull is rattled by two dilemmas: the thought of how you would hang on to something that won't stay, and how you would get rid of something that won't go.

Take heart dear. Life presents us with many challenges, one of which is coping with a dysfunctional relationship either at work or in our private lives – which I imagine can be tough. But thankfully, God is interested in us succeeding in these areas as much as He is in the prosperity of our souls.

God loves us and wants the best for us – all of the times. He sees our pains and our struggles beyond where close friends and relatives can see and even far beyond the radars of the best psychologist or therapist in town. And because He cares, if we call on Him and hang on there, He will answer our every need.

I realize that sometimes, even when we seem to have gotten everything right; it feels like those blessings aren’t coming our way. There just seems to be no physical manifestation of those things we’ve requested in prayers, perhaps with a fast. The situation at the office isn’t improving; your partner still isn’t appreciating you; your partner still isn’t being a good parent, squanders the money meant for domestic projects, and perhaps hasn’t stopped drinking and doping … And then it gets pretty tough holding on. And you start to reconsider the world’s solution – quitting.

Here’s a thought; if you want to leave your mate simply because there is something about them you don't like, you're likely going to want to leave every mate you ever get, because there's bound to be something you don't like about each one because no one human being is perfect.

Besides, God hates divorce. Marriage is one of His cherished institutions on earth; and regardless of how boring or miserable your marriage has become, regardless of the intensity of the problem, God doesn’t permit divorce unless it is a case of Adultery (Matt 19:9). His mind is that couples stick together through thick and thin. Yes it may be difficult but He says in Isaiah 43:2

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee”

I believe the waters, the rivers and the fire signify varying levels of trials which we all at some point in our walk with God, must pass through. My consolation is that He is Able and will be with us. He is self-sufficient and does not need us as it were, to fulfill His promises. If you’ve prayed and He hasn’t done it, He is probably waiting for the best time to do it. He is never in a hurry but He is always on time. He will come through for you; please hang on there.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Gal 6:9) “Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will perform that good thing which I have promised unto the house of Israel and to the house of Judah” (Jer 33:14).

“Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit” (Jer 17:7-8)

God bless you.